Dear People Who Run Topshop (Again)

I thought we talked about this.

Hand crafted from Care Bears. Topshop, £95

Perfect for those days when your body's freezing but your arms are just sooooo hot. Topshop, £75

Ah, yes. The furry octopus look. I hear it's very big this season.
(Unbelivably, this one's sold out.)

Because who doesn't model themselves after Cruella de Vil? Topshop, £98

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I just... sigh. Words fail me. Topshop, £450. Yes, £450.

Listen, Topshop. I know I said it was over the last time. But this time, I mean it. You've gone too far. I'm leaving, and I'm taking my obsessive and underfunded hunt for stylish-but-warm winter attire with me.

Yours indignantly,

Person With Taste Eyes