Scene from a French class

The Italian nanny was attempting to answer the teacher's latest question when the Morrocan student interrupted, shouting, "Excuse me, what's an Easter?"
The teacher called upon the rest of us to explain.
The Poles led the charge to the best of their ability. "It is," said one, "a party for the little boy of God who call his self Jesus and . . . oh shit." She faltered and her fellow country-man came to her aid.
"He call his self Jesus and then he be die one day on two . . . morsels of . . . lumber."
The rest of the class jumped in, offering bits of information that would have given the pope an aneurysm.
"He die one day and then he go above of my head to live with your father."
"He weared of himself the long hair and after he die, the first day he come back here for to say hello to the peoples."
"He nice, the Jesus."

From Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

Hope you have the nice party, peoples.


Bunny brooch: SketchInc

How to elope to Edinburgh

You know what's more fun than wedding planning? Wedding planning for OTHER PEOPLE. I may have mentioned this before. It's especially fun because I'm not personally invested in any of the things that make wedding planning awkward: family history, bridal party drama, underwear...

 

Today, I had the pleasure of doling out advice to an Alabama couple planning an Edinburgh elopement, for East Side Bride. I've waxed lyrical about my love for ESB before, so I won't bang on about it. Suffice to say, she's ace, I'm honoured, my post kind of ended up being about five million words long.

If you'd like to read my recommendations for a low-key, hipster elopement to Edinburgh (and let's face it, who wouldn't), I'd encourage you to go and read my post right now. And if you know of any other top secret, badass venues hidden away down Edinburgh's back lanes, I'd love to hear about them. The current ratio of country houses to murder-ridden caves in the Scottish wedding media is just not good enough.


P.S. If you're visiting here from ESB for the first time, I should probably plug the wedding stuff. But truthfully, I think you might prefer the posts filed under 'Don't be a dick'.


Image: shot by David Wickham and styled by Bijou Bride for Vogue Italia, via Love My Dress. I like to imagine this is how our Alabama bride will emerge from her plane upon arrival at Turnhouse. Totally feasible.

I think I've found my calling.

Did you know there was such a thing as STYLED DOG PORTRAITS?!

I mean, come on. There's got to be a market for this in Edinburgh, surely? And it's for charity! Any photographers want to get in on this? Anybody? No...?

For more styled dog portraits than you can shake a giant glittery bow at, there's a whole freaking category on A House in the Hills. I practically wept with joy.



Images from Fancy Paws created by Smitten Studio, Birds of a Feather and A House in the Hills, a.k.a. MY HEROES.

Gone again

And we're off again. This time up to the frozen north for a few days, where I will almost certainly be striking poses in designer skiwear and prancing around in the snow on ponies. Because that's just what people do in Aviemore.

My family has a timeshare up there, a little two-roomed flat with bunkbeds and a pull-out couch. It's far from glamorous, but it's close to my heart. We've been going there since I was little. I remember one year, my dad built us an igloo beside the car park. It suspect it was more for him than for us.

For a few years I stopped going, bored of the long drive up the A9 and the unpredictable Scottish weather. But Fin and I started going up there together when he was learning to ski, and it's become something of a spring tradition.

One of my favourite things about having a timeshare is the year-on-year comparison. Every year, for these same two weeks in March, the little flat is ours. Some years the hills are white, their edges smudged against a flat grey sky. Some years are spent huddled on the couch watching the rain drum against the windows. Last year, we had glorious sunshine. We ate sandwiches on benches and lay on a beach, shivering slightly, in the way only the British can. The year before that, there was too much snow to ski.

Right now, it's -5°C and snowing. That has to mean we're due glorious sunshine next year, right? Maybe?


Happy weekend, folks.


Images: 1&4 Free People November 2012 via Fashion Gone Rogue, 2&3 Koray Birand for Vogue Spain Joyas via Design Scene

How do you say "vegetarian" in French?

HA! TRICK QUESTION! You don't ever need to say vegetarian in French, because if you are a vegetarian in France you will waste away in a matter of days. Even the salads have meat in them. Which is why they're so delicious.

But alas, I am no longer in France. It's time to say au revoir to delicious meaty salads, and bonjour to being a végétarienne. Sort of.

Fin and I have decided to try and eat meat-free from Monday to Friday. We'll still eat fish, and we'll still eat meat at the weekend if we feel like it, or if we're eating out (which doesn't happen as often as we'd like, thanks to a certain small, hairy member of our household who really cramps our style when it comes to dining in restaurants). So, not really vegetarian at all. More part-time-pescatarian. But at least we're trying.

There are lots of reasons for doing this: health for one, budget for another. And I must admit, ever since we've had Smidgen in our lives, we've felt increasingly uneasy about chowing down on her mammalian cousins. Which is weird, because she eats more meat than the two of us put together and never seems to wrestle with the ethical implications of it. She also doesn't have a problem with crapping in the middle of the road though, so we try not to model ourselves too closely on her.

 

HOWEVER. There is a major barrier standing in the way of this hippy-dippy, plant-eating, penny-saving utopia: Fin isn't really that into vegetables.

 

Fresh, crisp vegtables, maybe. Salads, yes, great, lovely. But piles of cooked vegetables? Not so much. Leeks are his personal idea of hell. If we are to avoid living off nothing but salad, prawns and different varieties of cheese, we're going to need some help.

 

Are any of you vegetarians? Or do you happen to have a great non-meaty recipe? Any sites I should check out? I'd love some ideas beyond plain veg - I'm thinking nuts, pulses, beans, salads, soups and, yes, cheeses (halloumi is the food of the gods). Please, give me all your food secrets! And in return, I'll love you forever. And I'll tell you about that hilarious thing that happened while we were on holiday.

 

 

(Not really. Nothing happened. I mainly skied, slept and ate delicious meaty salads. But still, tell me about FOOD.)

 

 

Images styled by Chelsea Zimmer. Don't click that link if you're hungry. Lady could make sawdust look mouthwatering.