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Behind the scenes at A Safe Mooring


Truly great photographs like the one above don't just happen, you know. To misquote the great Dolly Parton, it takes a lot of time and effort to look this half-arsed. And you can't expect The Talent (that's me, obv) to just stand around trying out different hand positions all day. I've got people to see, places to go, Pens to Do. So in these situations, I turn to my trusty stand-in.


Oh dear. Fin, what is that hand position all about? You need to create some shape, dahling.
And is that a snood I spy on that chair?


The hand! It's giant! Zoom out, zoom out!


Oh yeah, you nailed it! Quick, somebody tell The Sartorialist to get himself 
round to my living room.


Thumbs up from the crazy leopard-print lady.


We really know how to have a good time in my house.


(By the way, if you're looking for some genuinely helpful photo tips, Lauren McGlynn has been doing an amazing series called Photography According to Lauren. It's brilliant and incredibly helpful. You're welcome.)

How to channel your inner 12-year-old

1. Belatedly notice that all the cool kids are wearing friendship bracelets. Decide you must have one immediately.

2. Go to John Lewis (other haberdasheries are available) and buy bumper pack of budget embroidery thread because you're too cheap to splash out on the good stuff.

3. Spend three days deciding which colours to use.

4. Realise you spent so long choosing colours that your only crafty friend has gone away on holiday so you're going to have to make your OWN FRIENDSHIP BRACELET. Cringe.


5. Find helpful tutorial online. (Not mine, obviously. I'm talking about an *actual* helpful one.)

6. Painstakingly make bracelet. Continually make stupid mistakes and have to unpick it. Curse the day friendship bracelets were ever invented.

(Pro tip: If you can, make the bracelet half a centimetre too long, but don't realise until after you've finished the bracelet and snipped all the end bits off and it's too late to change it. This bit's brilliant!)

7. As soon as slightly wonky bracelet is finished, log onto internet and discover the cool kids have officially declared that friendship bracelets are so over. Sigh.

8. Belatedly notice that all the cool kids are wearing [insert pretty much anything here]. Decide you must have one immediately.

[Repeat]

It's an arm party and YOU'RE INVITED!

P.S. I know it looks like I'm smuggling a badger up my jumper or something, but I think it's just a weird perspective. Or a weird jacket. One or the other. Also, that is a zip pocket that has left that lovely imprint on my hand. Great. And you wonder why I don't post more pictures of my outfits?

P.P.S. I nearly forgot, I have a guest post up on Red Boots! Wendy asked a few of us to write something on the topic of Our Favourite Things, while she is busy looking after her new favourite thing, little baby Elsie. There are no raindrops or kittens, but there are sequins, puddles and Smidgen adopting a weirdly demure pose. You know you want to.


{Top two images by Honestly WTF}

Shopping Challenge: Palestinian Chic

 
Okay, team. Remember my great yellow skirt hunt? And the red jeans obsession? Well, you lot were so good at sending me suggestions - too good, in fact, which is why I ended up having to give one skirt away - that when my friend emailed me with a genuine fashion quandary, I decided to throw it out to you guys. There's nothing I love more than a good shopping challenge (just ask Linsey) and something told me you might be open to a little fantasy outfit planning on a Friday afternoon. Go on, tell me I'm wrong.

So, the challenge. It's a tricky one. I'm pretty sure my friend was joking when she suggested I do a post about it, but I honestly don't know where to start. This particular friend - we'll call her Priscilla, even though that is not remotely her name - is about to move to Palestine to begin a very important job for a very worthwhile organisation and generally put the rest of us to shame. It's all come about quite quickly: she's flying out next week and she has the small matter of a mammoth dissertation due today (you can do it, Priscilla!) so you can imagine that shopping is quite far down her list of priorities. Thus she finds herself in the position of being about to move to a Middle Eastern country in possession of a very European wardrobe, and she needs our help.


The Rules

 No leg on show.

 No arms above the elbow (below the elbow is ok).

 No cleavage.

♥ Tight as you like (the younger Palestinian ladies apparently exploit this to the full).

Other things you might need to know

It will be around 40°C. That is HOT.

Priscilla is fair-haired with a pixie crop, awesome curves and amazing cheekbones. Picture a juicier version of Michelle Williams and you've got it.

When she was living in east Africa (this girl gets around), she wore linen trousers and tunic tops and claims she looked like she was, and I quote, "wearing a sack". Which is not the look we're going for here, okay?


I'm thinking maybe a maxi skirt (floaty ones when it's crazy hot, stretchy ones for practicality) and a loose-fitting shirt with a cinched-in waist to avoid any sack comparisons, but I'm turning this one over to you. I appreciate we might struggle to find online retailers that deliver to the Middle East, but she will be flying back and forth to London so UK-based stores would be good, or just general ideas and inspiration.

Think you can help a girl out? Okay... go!

 
P.S. I've had outfit quandaries of my own this week, as I'm heading down to Leeds this weekend for a little get together with some of my favourite bloggers. I may have purchased some leopard-print jeans. Wish me luck.


Images: 1. The Sartorialist 2. The Glamourai 3. The Sartorialist 4. Olivia Palermo shot by Bauer Griffin via Zimbio 6. Anthropologie (skirt no longer available) 7. Tiany by Zanita

Comment is free


Most bloggers will tell you that comments matter. And if they don't, they're probably lying. In fact, I would go so far as to say they matter more than anything; more than visitor numbers, or pageviews, or sponsorship deals (a girl can dream) or any other arbitrary measure you might apply to a blog's so-called success. I love getting comments so much that I even put a comments goal on my life list, and when I hit that target I wrote a whole gleeful post about it.

Different blogs attract different types of comments, of course. There are the long, rambling discussion threads you find on sites like A Practical Wedding, where comments on individual posts regularly run into three figures as smart, feisty women share experiences and generally put the world to rights.

Then there are those hey-everybody-look-at-my-outfit blogs, which seem to elicit nothing but sycophantic "Love your look!" comments from a gaggle of blog-clones. This is only half the story, though, or so I've heard; there are also the comments you don't see, the snarky, rude or downright abusive ones that those bloggers, quite reasonably, send straight to the bin.


Certainly, getting no comments at all is better than getting ten mean ones. But if nobody comments, blogging stops being a conversation and becomes a sad, one-sided monologue. Or worse, a rant. Lord knows I like a rant now and then, but it's much more satisfying when you know people are listening. Instead of feeling like a crazy person standing on a street corner, yelling at strangers as they try to pretend you don't exist, you feel as though there's a supportive crowd nodding along with you, saying, "Mmmhmmm," and occasionally shouting, "Preach it, sister!". (I imagine. I don't actually know anyone who would say that in real life. But in theory.)

The trouble with commenting, though, is that it's annoying. It requires action. It also requires you to have something to say. And sometimes, there really is nothing to say. Sometimes I read a post that is absolutely excellent in every respect, and all I can think of to say is, "Great post." But I worry that will make me come across like some weirdo spammer who hasn't even bothered to read what they've written and is just trying to funnel traffic back to my own blog, so instead I say nothing.

Or I might have plenty to say, but lack the time or - more likely - the inclination. Since I read blogs via my Google Reader, commenting requires all the effort of actually clicking on the post, and then you have to type in your name and your email and oh God is that word verification and ugh that isn't even a word and then your comment disappears and you have to type it again and oh just forget it, I didn't really have anything that important to say anyway.

Commenting takes effort, and lately I've been lazy. I've consumed every word and given scant few in return, and that, my friends, needs to change. In the last couple of days I've been trying to up my comment game (did anyone notice?) and I'm enjoying the transformation from passive observer to active participator. I've said it before and I'll say it again: blogging is a conversation. And if you're not in it, then you're kind of like one of those creepy lurkers who hovers around the edge of a group at a party, laughs too loudly at all the jokes then skulks quietly away. And nobody wants to be that person.


I'm assuming I'm not alone in my commenting lethargy (because HELLOOOO blurkers - I know there are way more people who read this blog than comment on it) so here, exclusively for you, are my top tips for making commenting a little bit more appealing. You're welcome.

1. Be accessible! If you have your own blog, for the love of all that is beautiful, please DITCH THE WORD VERIFICATION. Seriously. It's an extremely irritating solution to what, for most of us, is a very minor problem. In my experience, Blogger correctly screens out spam comments 99% of the time (they're not exactly hard to spot). In contrast, word verification makes commenting frustrating and unduly time-consuming 1,426,793% of the time. Please do not question my maths.

2.  Get chatty! Blogger has finally caught up with Wordpress and introduced threaded comments, meaning it's possible to reply to individual comments for the first time. As a blogger, this means I can respond to questions and engage with commenters in a much more direct way, and as a reader it encourages me to read through all the previous comments and jump into a conversation. Or tell them exactly why they're wrong and I am right. Ahem.

3. Click through! My number one barrier to commenting has always been the fact that I read all my blogs on Google Reader, which doesn't exactly entice you to click through to the post and leave a comment. Far easier to scroll down to the next post, and the next, and the next... There are all sorts of ways to get around this, but the one that I've been using in the last few days is the Next button. If you use Google Reader, go to Reader Settings and choose the Goodies tab. There you'll find a little bookmarklet - a sort of wee button that says "Next" - that you just drag and drop to your bookmarks bar. Lo and behold, when you click it, it takes you directly to the next unread blog post in your subscription list. Genius! You can even have different buttons for different categories if you're feeling fancy. I love it because you're taken to the actual blog itself, so as well as making commenting easier - the comment form is right there in your face at the end of the post - it also lets you enjoy some super stylish blog design instead of the dull list format of Google Reader. Bonus!

So there you have it. Sorry blurkers, no more excuses; it's time to step out of the shadows, grab yourself a drink, and join the conversation.


Images: Dakota & Elle Fanning by Mario Sorrenti for W Magazine via Fashion Gone Rogue

Some people have too much time on their hands.


And considerably more willpower than me. I would never have made it past the AT-AT's feet.

Who's having pancakes for tea then? I use the pancake batter mix from my trusty old Be-Ro recipe book. My mum has an ancient copy, all floury and falling to pieces. Mine is new (only £2.50!), but it's degenerating at an alarming pace. Probably due to my habit of dropping it into bowls of cake mix and spattering it with bits of Yorkshire pudding. I'm not the most graceful of cooks.

One Pancake Day, Fin and I made an entire pancake-based meal. The pudding was delicious: sliced banana wrapped up in pancakes and drizzled with golden syrup, baked in the oven and served with ice cream. YUM. The main course, however, was less successful. Apparently Peking Duck doesn't really work with chicken. Or satay sauce. Or thick, rubbery pancakes. Blergh.

I can't help thinking that the true meaning of Shrove Tuesday has gone worryingly awry when I actually have to go out to the shops and buy pancake ingredients. It's not really the point, is it? I should probably be scraping together a meal from the random contents of my cupboards, using up all the unhealthy things we're meant to be forsaking for the next six weeks.

I wonder if I could create a scale replica of the Millenium Falcon out of supernoodles and cheese?


{Images: Jim's Pancakes}

The Long-Awaited Holiday Recap

(Alternative title: I Finally Found the Cable For My Camera)


It started off grey. Low-lying clouds drifted up from the valley, seeping between the trees and into our bones. We moved carefully through the murky half-light, our bodies slowly remembering how to do this thing.

All was well, for the first two hours. Then came a phone call, tears, an ambulance. Sa clavicule, elle est cassƩe. Fin and I looked at each other and looked away, heartsick. Glad it wasn't us, guilty for our gladness.


We awoke on the third day to fat snowflakes fluttering down, filling the air like confetti. It fell, and it fell, and it fell. We bounced and tumbled and whooped through knee-deep snow. Our car got stuck. We retreated, gratefully, to the hot tub. I cannot overstate how good it was to sink, groaning, into that steaming pool at the end of the day. A drink didn't hurt, either.


Finally the clouds parted. The snow of the previous days had been bullied into submission and the pistes were all but empty. The only sound was the thrum of our skis trembling over the grooved surface. I swished and swooped from one run to the next. Even my mum took to the slopes, for the first time since she left France to come home and begin cancer treatment three years ago. She skied cautiously, carefully, but still - she skied.


Fin began skiing 8 years ago, under the questionable instruction of me and my dad. This year, for the first time, I caught glimpses of how it will be one day when he can effortlessly keep pace with me. I can't wait.


(No, I didn't help him. I was too busy laughing.)


French alpine food follows a basic pattern: meat, cheese, or meat + cheese. In an exciting twist on this theme, the meat above was served with a generous crumbling of salt, a token leaf or two, and a slab of butter. No bread, just... butter. Oh, France.


It was all going so well (broken collarbones and motoring mishaps aside). 

And then it got cold. Very, very cold.


That's 9.30 in the morning, just to be clear. And it got colder. So cold that the very air around us seemed to freeze. Tiny particles shimmered in the sunlight like glitter. Every breath chilled me to the bone.

When we stopped at lunchtime - in a hilarious cafĆ© where the electricity went off every time they used the putain micro-onde (the "fucking microwave"), so that Fin had to continuously flick a switch in the fusebox above his head - it was so cold that the water in the toilet bowl had frozen. Yowza. When I took my glove off to try and take a picture, I lost all feeling in my hand within about ten seconds and didn't get it back for an hour.


This is me. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "Hey, Kirsty, maybe you should have laid off on the cheese fondue". And you would be right. But as well as the thin layer of fromage that congealed around my body over the course of the week, I am also wearing:

A thermal vest
A thermal base layer
Another thermal base layer
A fleece
Another fleece
A ski jacket
Thermal long johns
Salopettes
A scarf
A hat
A balaclava
Goggles
A hood
A smile (you'll have to take my word for that, though.)

That's six layers just on my top half, and three on my head. Like I said. Very, very cold.


And very, very fun.


For those who are interested in these sorts of things, we stayed in the amazing Chalet La Giettaz in La Giettaz en Aravis, in Savoie, which I would recommend a million percent. We flew easyJet to Grenoble, hired a car and drove there in under a couple of hours. We skied in MegĆØve, the Espace Diamant and Le Grand Bornand. Did I mention the HOT TUB?


{Images of Fin skiing and of me wearing everything I own by Kieran Burchell}

Super Sad True Shoe Story


On Sunday, I went to Blook Club. Smidgen came too, even though she hadn't read the book (tut tut). The book this month was Super Sad True Love Story, an offbeat science-fiction romance set in a near future where people are obsessed with sex, shopping and spewing every detail of their most intimate selves online. Totally nothing like now, then. At all. Not even a little bit.

Anywaaay, let's move swiftly on to the point of this post: my outfit.

Yes, that is correct. I attended a gathering of interesting, intelligent women, we had spirited discussions about everything from gender equality in childhood to the proliferation of internet memes to how lavender cake tastes like soap, and I am telling you about my outfit.

Here's the thing. I do not believe that being intelligent and caring about fashion are mutually exclusive. I don't think that wearing high heels makes me a "bad feminist", or restricts my ability to discuss a book, or is really anyone's business but my own (unless they want to tell me they like my shoes, in which case, it's totally their business! Compliment away!). 

Getting dressed in the morning is often the only aesthetic decision I make in a whole day, so if I find pleasure in the creative pairing of colour and texture, if making a fub outfit out of the mismatched contents of my wardrobe puts a smile on my face, then I am damn well going to wear what makes me happy. Even if what makes me happy is not always entirely appropriate to the situation.

Which brings me back to my outfit for Blook Club. 

You see, in my day job, the sartorial options are limited. The tricky boundaries of acceptable workwear are worthy of a whole post of their own, so suffice it to say that ripped jeans and platform shoes are generally frowned upon in legal circles.  I've written before about my mission to dump the frump, so when an opportunity arises to be a little bit more creative in my choices, I have a tendency to get... overexcited.

Maybe I spend too much time ogling outfits on Pinterest (um, yes). Maybe I've looked at too many pictures of women in glamorous outfits posing with their dogs (also yes). Whatever the reason, in my head it was totally reasonable to try and recreate this outfit for Blook Club:


Look at her! She's wearing a poloneck! What could be more bookish than that? I bet she's carrying a book in that [suspiciously empty-looking] leather bag. And I'm sure her pet greyhound is just out of shot. Probably.

If I were a proper fashion blogger or completely narcissistic (let's be honest, the two usually go hand-in-hand) I would have a series of arty shots of myself rocking around town in my own - admittedly toned-down - version of this outfit. But I don't, so you'll just have to imagine it. Picture navy tights, ripped jeans rolled up, stripy top. The snood, obv. I even had a little arm party going on, but smaller; more of an arm gathering. Or an arm soirĆ©e. With a very select guest list.

The best bit, though, was my shoes. Not having a pair of beige patent ankle-strap courts (does anyone?), I went for the next best thing: sky-high platform gladiator sandals. Naturally. Because what else would you wear on your feet to attend a book club with your dog?

It was all going so well. Smidgen and I made a sweeping entrance, strolling elegantly into the pub on long, shapely legs (well, she did). I managed to stop her eating the home-made tablet, she managed to make me look only mildly incompetent as a dog owner. I didn't fall over on my way to the bar. Everything was grand.

Until she needed a pee.

Let me tell you, there is nothing less dignified than hobbling around a filthy, glass-strewn patch of grass round the side of a pub in four-inch heels. The customary posse of vaguely menacing teenagers couldn't even summon up a decent insult; I think they were just embarrassed for me. Or for Smidgen. I'm not sure which.


Of course, it was all my own fault. Clearly the platforms were a terrible mistake.

Next time, I'll wear wedges.


Images: 1. Vogue 2. Atlantic-Pacific 3. Dane Shitagi for Longchamp via Fashion Gone Rogue, all via Pinterest

Last night


FIN [approximately ten minutes after returning from the supermarket]: Oh, I got you flowers, by the way. They're on the kitchen table.

ME: Oh! Thanks!

F: They're carnations.

ME: Great! Thanks!

F: Do you like carnations?

ME: Yeah, they're my favourite! [They're not, but he is, so.]

F: They're my favourite too.

ME: Oh, really?

F: Yeah.

[Pause]

F: They're really cheap.


So I guess romance isn't dead after all.


[EDITED TO ADD: If getting out of bed in the wee hours of the morning  - twice - to take your dog and her upset tummy outside, while your wife dozes blissfully on, isn't romance, then I don't know what is. Fin, I take back every word.]


{Image by Tim Walker via Lotte & Bloom's fantastical Pinterest}

Ten.


If I hadn't already done the maths last year, I'm not sure I would have believed this was our tenth Valentine's Day together. 

Ten? Already? 

Fuck. We are old.

Happy Valentine's Day, Finster. I love you more than Smidgen loves sleeping. (A lot.)


{Print from Not on the High Street. I wanted to get Fin this card, but I couldn't bring myself to look at it without mentally pencilling in an extra "U". Seriously, it's like a curse.}

Always a bride, never a bridesmaid


"So, what should we play?" my friend asks, as the door to the mysterious grown-up world of coffee and gossip swings firmly shut behind our mothers. 

We are at her house. I, therefore, am a guest. We all know the golden rule, the one unbreakable commandment that spills in urgent whispers from our mothers' lips in that final moment before the doorbell rings. The rule is this: Put The Guest First. 

In other words, what we play is up to me, and we both know it.

"Welll...", I say, casually tracing a finger along the perfect cheekbone of Joey from New Kids on the Block, whose glassy-eyed grin beams out at me from a torn-out page of Smash Hits magazine. "We could play... dressing up?"

With the quiet sigh of someone resigned to her fate, my friend reaches into her wardrobe and for the thousandth time pulls out a box brimming with feathers and hats and too-big high heels. I pounce on it, plunging my arms deep into the tangle of fabrics until my probing fingers find what they have been seeking: the cold slipperiness of overpriced polyester. I curl my hands around the fabric and pull. A handful of white skirt emerges, followed by a row of tightly-curled pink rosebuds. One perfectly spherical sleeve. A flurry of lace. I keep tugging until, finally, I am cradling it in my arms - the most beautiful dress I have ever seen.

Eagerly I poke my skinny arms through the armholes and begin to wrestle the dress over my head. My tropical-fruit-themed t-shirt bunches up around my shoulders. I tug the dress down as far as it will go, but still I need to roll my cycling shorts up my legs to stop them ruining the effect. I squeeze the matching satin slippers onto my feet, toes crammed together like socks squashed into a drawer. The dress's label says age 3-4. I am eight.

I stand in front of the mirror, and I don't see the satin straining across my chest, the faint outline of a pineapple visible under the cheap white fabric. I don't see my arms turning blue as the elasticated puff sleeves slowly cut off my circulation. I don't see the hideous 1980s confection of a frock that one day I will ridicule. 

I see something beautiful. I see something special. I see something loved. 

I see a bridesmaid.


I have never been a bridesmaid before. My mum was a bridesmaid multiple times (seven, eight?) and it has always seemed to me a rite of passage, an essential stop on the coach trip to womanhood. So much so that I even put it on my life list. But, not having a sister or a sole all-consuming Best Friend, I secretly suspected it might never happen. Even though I have skills, contacts, so many ideas, maybe I'm just not bridesmaid material.

Except, apparently, I am! YESSSSS!!! Thank you Blonde Bridesmaid. It's a pleasure and an honour.

I am already taking my duties very seriously, spending Saturday afternoon reading my long-awaited copy of the APW Book (which, by the way, is excellent so far. Where the hell was it two years ago when I was tearing my hair out over the cost of hiring a wedding car for a three-minute journey?) and searching for pictures of weddings with fifteen bridesmaids as proof that a mere four is not, in fact, too many, and any friend of the bride's mother who says otherwise can just bugger off.

I don't want to speak too soon, but I think I'm going to be good at this.


{Top image: Lichfield/Getty Images. Bottom image: Lillian and Leonard}

Sunshine after the flu


And now I feel almost human again. I might even be sufficiently recovered to tell you about my freezing, flu-ridden, wonderful holiday sometime, if you're interested. Generally speaking, I find reading or hearing about other people's travels excruciatingly dull but, obviously, my own are endlessly fascinating. Much like children, I imagine.

Or like sick leave! Everyone wants to hear about what I've been doing on my sick leave, am I right? Well, I'm so glad you asked. In between sleeping, sweating, shivering and sweating, I managed to engage in the following mindless activities:
1. Wish I lived the kind of life where I could don a full-length orange (red? coral? persimmon?) skirt to waft around in a park
2. Enter the Yoke screen print giveaway on ZoĆ«'s blog (which I once notoriously and, I think, quite accurately described as sunshine on toast) and groan at some seriously awful jokes. Apart from my joke, of course, which previously won me a tie break in an inter-office pub quiz. Thank you, nameless child in Fin's old class from whom I stole it. 
3. Lust after everything in Jane Gowans' Valentine's pop-up shop. Especially the small stacking rings *cough* hint hint *cough* 
4. Lose myself in all the stunning FLOWERS on Amy Merrick's gorgeous FLOWER blog *cough* HINT HINT *cough*
Oh dear, looks like my cough hasn't quite disappeared yet, after all.


Happy weekend, peeps. Any exciting plans, possibly involving wafting around parks in full-length orange skirts?


{Images: 1. Atlantic-Pacific 2. Hello Sunshine print by Yoke 3. Illustration by The Grey Earl, photography by What Kristen Saw, jewellery by Jane Gowans 4. Amy Merrick}

What's happening?


I'll go first.

1. It was -21°C where we were in the French Alps on Saturday. MINUS TWENTY-ONE DEGREES. Otherwise known as Too Fucking Cold.

2. The hypothetical farm wedding is no longer hypothetical! Blonde Bridesmaid is getting married! Woohoo! (On which topic, if anyone else ordered Meg's book on Amazon UK and keeps getting emails from them bleating on about delays and suppliers and bla bla bla, The Book Depository apparently has some in stock. Don't say I'm not good to you.)

3. I have the flu. Which means I'm in bed. Which means I need entertained. Which brings me to...

What's happening with you? Tell me, what did I miss?



{Image by Selva Morales. Fin has a bear that looks just like this. His name is Roly Poly. Don't tell him I told you that.}