No, don't worry, I'm not going to try and give you advice on how to have a happy marriage. I mean, I've only been married for seven months. There's no way I have the wisdom or experience to even consider trying to advise someone else. That would be crrrrazy!
So. Let's ask a bunch of eight-year-olds instead!
I ordered this book in the midst of a mildly irrational panic over our wedding guest book. I have a weird pathological hatred of traditional guest books, partly because it's hard enough to think what to write in a wedding card so having to think of *another* congratulatory message after a few glasses of fizzy is even worse, and partly because it really, really bothers me that you might end up with loads of empty pages left over in the back of the book (told you it was weird). I had a vague idea that people could write in the margins of a picture book, so even if there were pages left over at least they wouldn't be blank. In the end we didn't use it (one of many discarded ideas) but I found the book the other day, and it has some really quite useful advice.
Like this:
See? Practical, honest and *totally* achievable. Bonus points for the helpful illustrations.
Also, this:
I suspect that having triplets and staying wealthy may be mutually exclusive. But how did they know the Hubster used to have sideburns like that?
Of course, some of the advice is genuinely quite sweet. Like this one:
Awww. (If you're the bride, you might also want to shave off your big red beard before the wedding. Just a suggestion.)
Some are more blunt than others:
Fair enough. I'm not that into polygamy either.
I love this one:
I would just have solved this problem by saying no to marrying someone who didn't like hot dogs (because what sort of freak doesn't like hot dogs??*).
Finally, this particular child has hit the nail on the head. If there is one tip that is guaranteed to lead to a long and happy marriage, it is this:
Some excellent advice. Thank you, Miss Dietz's third grade class, for your words of wisdom.
This is not the only fascinating source of marriage advice I found in my bookshelves. Come back for next week's instalment, in which Mrs Dorothy Stote shall advise the modern bride on such important topics as "Should you wear a girdle?" and "Making the kitchen attractive" (not making this up)...
*Ok, I stopped eating hot dogs when I read the magic words "mechanically-recovered chicken" on the tin, but that doesn't mean I don't LIKE them...
Images from Advice for a Happy Marriage: From Miss Dietz's Third-Grade Class
. Bunnies via captainsubtle's flickr
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